Gay Guru® Blog

To Top, or to Bottom

Posted by on Feb 15, 2018 in Weekly Column | 2 comments

I thought it would be fun to explore an idea I personally hope is going to become obsolete. It’s the concept of top and bottom. For the record I’m versatile. Not V/T or V/B actually versatile. But, I wasn’t always. I’m comfortable with people defining themselves as they see fit, if they do it for the right reasons. Some people simply prefer certain sexual positions. It’s only an issue when his reasons are based on stereotypes, or an unhealthy self-image. When I came out it felt like we had to choose. We defined  ourselves by dominant and...

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Staying Friends

Posted by on Jan 23, 2018 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

We hear so much criticism of our community from without, and within, I thought it would be a nice change to talk about something that LGBT people do better than our heterosexual peers. While our breakups can be just as painful as our straight counterparts we are much better at creating lasting friendships with our exes. There seems to be some data to support the idea that queer men are somewhat better at preserving these relationships than women. But, LGBT women still fare far better than their straight peers. While it isn’t the case for me....

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Gay is not a Four Letter Word

Posted by on Dec 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

  Lately there have been a lot of new words bantered around by men who are openly attracted to other men but prefer not to use the term gay. This month let’s look at how I feel about “gay” and the “movements” of men reluctant to identify themselves that way. For the most part I think we can all agree that homosexual is a clinical term that has a lot of negative charge for just about everyone. However clinical it may be it is an accurate description of a simple dynamic, being attracted to a person of your own gender. I’m using gender here...

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“Old” is a state of mind

Posted by on Nov 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 6 comments

It’s been an interesting year. Many of the men in my circle are pushing beyond their mid fifties. The differences between us are widening. It got me thinking about aging. So many men seem disturbed by getting older. We may have no choice in aging, but we can impact the process significantly. Getting old is more a state of mind than our fate. Yes, of course there are things that can’t helped. Our hair may turn grey or disappear altogether. We may sprout lines and crevices on our faces and elsewhere that can’t be remedied without drastic...

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Gay and Disabled

Posted by on Oct 15, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

In this month’s post I’ll be talking about being gay and disabled. As part of our ongoing move towards inclusivity for all people it is important for us to understand the unique journeys faced by our physically, or mentally, challenged brothers. A truly unified and effective LGBT community must include everyone. When I first sat down to research this post I thought I was going to find a lot of unsettling stories about how disabled men are treated in gay spaces. Given our culture’s obsession with the “fashionable, fit and fabulous” stereotype...

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Pride and Politics

Posted by on Sep 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

In this month’s blog we’ll explore why Pride needs to remain political. In recent years Pride has become more celebratory and commercial than ever. My issue isn’t with commercialism but, if Pride is only about that we loose site of its purpose. Our fight is far from over. Almost on the heels of marriage equality Americans voted in one of the most homophobic governments in recent history. We must stand up and continue to fight if we are to keep our rights. Evan Wolfson one of the architects of marriage equality in the US says “… protesting is...

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Mean Boys

Posted by on Aug 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 2 comments

Most of us remember them from high school those jock, and cheerleader, types whose sole function seemed to be making the lives of the rest of us miserable. Ever notice that same behaviour among gay men. I certainly have. This month I want to explore why those men are like that, and why we don’t need to tolerate it. I’m not talking about physical abuse, bur rather verbal nastiness, shunning, or shaming. Whether it’s based on age, looks, race, fashion sense, or perceived masculinity, the negative slogging that many gay men dish out is...

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The Viral Divide

Posted by on Jul 16, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

In this month’s post we’ll be looking at HIV, the stigma still associated with the disease, an the unfortunate attitudes on both sides of the infection fence that are dividing our community. I happen to be HIV Negative. I don’t wear that as some badge of honour. It is simply a medical fact. The title of this post also happens to be the name of a flash collective which sought to address the strained relationships between positive and negative men. They covered everything from race,  and privilege, to the science driving the new HIV landscape....

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What do You Think About God?

Posted by on Jun 16, 2017 in Weekly Column | 8 comments

OK, let me clarify that question. I’m not asking about your negative experiences with religious organizations, or people. We’ve all had enough of those. I’m asking where you stand on the idea of a creator. Does that concept have meaning for you? I’ll get us started. I practice the ancient African tradition called Ifa. I believe that there is an infinite consciousness that underlies everything that exists in the Universe. In Ifa we call this consciousness Olodumare, the best English translation is simply God. In my view God is an impersonal...

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Are You Bi-Phobic and Proud?

Posted by on May 13, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

From time to time I run a Facebook campaign to attract more bisexual guys to our community. One of my goals with Naked Gay Men is to build bridges between gay and bisexual men. I find the number of rabid comments, ignorant rants, and un-likes, that I receive from other gay men shocking. If anyone thinks it’s OK to hate  I’m not sure he gets what this community is about. Some men believe that this community, and by extension Gay Guru (meaning me), should be for gay men only. I’ve never understood why gay men are proud of their bi-phobia. Hate...

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