Gay Guru® Blog

“Old” is a state of mind

Posted by on Nov 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 6 comments

It’s been an interesting year. Many of the men in my circle are pushing beyond their mid fifties. The differences between us are widening. It got me thinking about aging. So many men seem disturbed by getting older. We may have no choice in aging, but we can impact the process significantly. Getting old is more a state of mind than our fate. Yes, of course there are things that can’t helped. Our hair may turn grey or disappear altogether. We may sprout lines and crevices on our faces and elsewhere that can’t be remedied without drastic...

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Gay and Disabled

Posted by on Oct 15, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

In this month’s post I’ll be talking about being gay and disabled. As part of our ongoing move towards inclusivity for all people it is important for us to understand the unique journeys faced by our physically, or mentally, challenged brothers. A truly unified and effective LGBT community must include everyone. When I first sat down to research this post I thought I was going to find a lot of unsettling stories about how disabled men are treated in gay spaces. Given our culture’s obsession with the “fashionable, fit and fabulous” stereotype...

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Pride and Politics

Posted by on Sep 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

In this month’s blog we’ll explore why Pride needs to remain political. In recent years Pride has become more celebratory and commercial than ever. My issue isn’t with commercialism but, if Pride is only about that we loose site of its purpose. Our fight is far from over. Almost on the heels of marriage equality Americans voted in one of the most homophobic governments in recent history. We must stand up and continue to fight if we are to keep our rights. Evan Wolfson one of the architects of marriage equality in the US says “… protesting is...

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Mean Boys

Posted by on Aug 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 2 comments

Most of us remember them from high school those jock, and cheerleader, types whose sole function seemed to be making the lives of the rest of us miserable. Ever notice that same behaviour among gay men. I certainly have. This month I want to explore why those men are like that, and why we don’t need to tolerate it. I’m not talking about physical abuse, bur rather verbal nastiness, shunning, or shaming. Whether it’s based on age, looks, race, fashion sense, or perceived masculinity, the negative slogging that many gay men dish out is...

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The Viral Divide

Posted by on Jul 16, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

In this month’s post we’ll be looking at HIV, the stigma still associated with the disease, an the unfortunate attitudes on both sides of the infection fence that are dividing our community. I happen to be HIV Negative. I don’t wear that as some badge of honour. It is simply a medical fact. The title of this post also happens to be the name of a flash collective which sought to address the strained relationships between positive and negative men. They covered everything from race,  and privilege, to the science driving the new HIV landscape....

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What do You Think About God?

Posted by on Jun 16, 2017 in Weekly Column | 8 comments

OK, let me clarify that question. I’m not asking about your negative experiences with religious organizations, or people. We’ve all had enough of those. I’m asking where you stand on the idea of a creator. Does that concept have meaning for you? I’ll get us started. I practice the ancient African tradition called Ifa. I believe that there is an infinite consciousness that underlies everything that exists in the Universe. In Ifa we call this consciousness Olodumare, the best English translation is simply God. In my view God is an impersonal...

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Are You Bi-Phobic and Proud?

Posted by on May 13, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

From time to time I run a Facebook campaign to attract more bisexual guys to our community. One of my goals with Naked Gay Men is to build bridges between gay and bisexual men. I find the number of rabid comments, ignorant rants, and un-likes, that I receive from other gay men shocking. If anyone thinks it’s OK to hate  I’m not sure he gets what this community is about. Some men believe that this community, and by extension Gay Guru (meaning me), should be for gay men only. I’ve never understood why gay men are proud of their bi-phobia. Hate...

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What’s Your Relationship Style – Part 2

Posted by on Apr 17, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

This is part 2 of my posts about relationship styles. I’ll share my experiences, as well as talk about how to handle the topic with your man.  I’ve been in monogamous relationships, wildly open ones, and others in between. They taught me three important things. Be open, experiment if it feels right, and be honest about how it feels. Monogamy is easier for me. I’m comfortable with it. I like its emotional simplicity. I’ve been in two long-term open relationships. One ended because I was bored of playing around, and he wasn’t. The second...

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What’s Your Relationship Style?

Posted by on Mar 15, 2017 in Weekly Column | 3 comments

I’m exploring relationship styles for the next two posts. It is one of the most important things for gay men to consider when they are looking at compatibility. We need to know what we want, and how to communicate it. Too many men are not honest about what they’re doing outside their relationship. But, being honest about what we need helps us in decide. early on, if he’s Mr. Right. Let’s explore some options. I’ve tried a number of relationship styles. They’ve always been simple couplings. The idea of a polyamorous relationship is entirely...

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Gay and Racist

Posted by on Feb 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 2 comments

I’ve talked a lot lately about how ageist gay culture is. But what about race? The majority of images we see are not only young, but white. That in itself might not mean much, but any gay man of colour will tell you that racism is a big issue in our community. As an oppressed minority some gay men believe it doesn’t count when they spew racist comments. Things like “No Asians” on hookup profiles, phrases like “dinge queen”, are racist, make no mistake. Many of us consider the fetishizing of minority men completely acceptable. We’ve...

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