Weekly Column

“Old” is a state of mind

»Posted by on Nov 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 6 comments

It’s been an interesting year. Many of the men in my circle are pushing beyond their mid fifties. The differences between us are widening. It got me thinking about aging. So many men seem disturbed by getting older. We may have no choice in aging, but we can impact the process significantly. Getting old is more a state of mind than our fate. Yes, of course there are things that can’t helped. Our hair may turn grey or disappear altogether. We may sprout lines and crevices on our faces and elsewhere that can’t be remedied without drastic measures. Some parts of our bodies may break down, or not work as well as they used to. Those things are undeniable, but are they serious concerns? A friend of mine comes to mind. He’s in his 70’s now. He has spent a lot of time in...

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Gay and Disabled

»Posted by on Oct 15, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

In this month’s post I’ll be talking about being gay and disabled. As part of our ongoing move towards inclusivity for all people it is important for us to understand the unique journeys faced by our physically, or mentally, challenged brothers. A truly unified and effective LGBT community must include everyone. When I first sat down to research this post I thought I was going to find a lot of unsettling stories about how disabled men are treated in gay spaces. Given our culture’s obsession with the “fashionable, fit and fabulous” stereotype I thought that disabled men would face tremendous challenges finding acceptance. What emerged was a much more hopeful vision. Of course there were some predictable, if unfortunate, incidents being written and blogged about....

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Pride and Politics

»Posted by on Sep 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

In this month’s blog we’ll explore why Pride needs to remain political. In recent years Pride has become more celebratory and commercial than ever. My issue isn’t with commercialism but, if Pride is only about that we loose site of its purpose. Our fight is far from over. Almost on the heels of marriage equality Americans voted in one of the most homophobic governments in recent history. We must stand up and continue to fight if we are to keep our rights. Evan Wolfson one of the architects of marriage equality in the US says “… protesting is a way of raising your voice and encouraging others to believe and take action.” There are forces within the current American administration trying to dismantle those hard-won rights. Some headlines are sounding like the...

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Mean Boys

»Posted by on Aug 18, 2017 in Weekly Column | 2 comments

Most of us remember them from high school those jock, and cheerleader, types whose sole function seemed to be making the lives of the rest of us miserable. Ever notice that same behaviour among gay men. I certainly have. This month I want to explore why those men are like that, and why we don’t need to tolerate it. I’m not talking about physical abuse, bur rather verbal nastiness, shunning, or shaming. Whether it’s based on age, looks, race, fashion sense, or perceived masculinity, the negative slogging that many gay men dish out is truly shameful. Just like our high school bullies these men’s behaviour is based on deep insecurity. They can’t feel good about themselves unless they’re putting someone else down. Bullying is usually learned. Someone...

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The Viral Divide

»Posted by on Jul 16, 2017 in Weekly Column | 0 comments

In this month’s post we’ll be looking at HIV, the stigma still associated with the disease, an the unfortunate attitudes on both sides of the infection fence that are dividing our community. I happen to be HIV Negative. I don’t wear that as some badge of honour. It is simply a medical fact. The title of this post also happens to be the name of a flash collective which sought to address the strained relationships between positive and negative men. They covered everything from race,  and privilege, to the science driving the new HIV landscape. They came up with the HIV ÷ symbol, which features the tagline, “The virus divides. It doesn’t have to. No walls between gay men.” Absolutely brilliant! I’m old enough to remember the beginning of the AIDS crisis, when...

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What do You Think About God?

»Posted by on Jun 16, 2017 in Weekly Column | 8 comments

OK, let me clarify that question. I’m not asking about your negative experiences with religious organizations, or people. We’ve all had enough of those. I’m asking where you stand on the idea of a creator. Does that concept have meaning for you? I’ll get us started. I practice the ancient African tradition called Ifa. I believe that there is an infinite consciousness that underlies everything that exists in the Universe. In Ifa we call this consciousness Olodumare, the best English translation is simply God. In my view God is an impersonal force of creation. The Creator exists beyond all dualities and therefore cannot be defined as male or female, light or dark, etc. From this perspective the only way to honour God is by honouring all of creation. Each of us, in...

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