Ask Me a Question


Free Get Naked Coaching

Are you:

1. A  gay, bisexual, or questioning man

2. Wanting to be more successful and fulfilled in both your personal and professional life

3. Craving acceptance, respect, and love for being who you are without hiding, or having any secrets

4. Out, still in the closet, or somewhere in the process.

5. Wherever you are on your journey this free Get Naked Coaching page is for you.

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Advice to Get More Naked
Free Coaching – Special Invitation

Hi, my name is Brian Madigan, Gay Guru®, President of Gay Guru® Inc., and Founder of Naked Gay men. I’ve spent the last eight years helping my clients sink deep into themselves and discover how to express their truth in the world. Now, I’m applying all of that to my true passion, helping men, just like you.  It is my goal to help you discover what your best life looks like, and move into it.

I love gay and bi men, and for a very long time I’ve wanted to create a community of men committed to supporting each other, shining as bright as we can, and giving our powerful gifts to the world. The Naked Gay Men programs, and movement, are coming out of that burning desire. I believe that together we can create a world where it’s safe to be you and the coming out process becomes a positive journey into wholeness. This page will let you start that journey.

So post a question below right now!!!

Now the catch (sort of)…

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Getting Naked Advice – Disclaimer

Even though I provide free online coaching, there’s a good chance you’ll eventually want to take your conversation offline… and have a real-time conversation with me by phone or Skype, or maybe even face-to-face. Some questions are simply too BIG to deal with here.

So, if you have a question that’s too complex, private, or urgent to post here… don’t worry. You can click here instead to schedule your complimentary Get Naked Discovery Session. Whatever you decide, take action now. My Get Naked advice is delivered on a first-come, first-served basis.

I look forward to helping you reach your goals!

31 Comments

  1. Hey Jobe, Thanks for getting in touch. I’m a coach not a counsellor or therapist. I am a Master Practitioner of Nuero Linguistic Programming which is my primary coaching modality. I also have trained in a number of healing disciplines, EFT, Shiatsu, Hawaiian Huna, Ifa (an African wisdom tradition). My academic background is in ancient Near Eastern Language and Computer Science so not relevant to my coaching practice.

    [Reply]

  2. Brian,

    I do not see reference on your website regarding any college/university coursework. No references to clinical experience. Can you provide your educational background, degree(s), certification(s).

    Thank you,

    [Reply]

  3. Hi Brian. Thanks for offering free advice! It is a gift. I feel stuck and sad. The LGBT community where I live is pretty god awful. Not the worst–at least there is one. However it is hard getting good gay friends let alone a date unless you are all about a facade or sex here or want to check your mental health at the door. Yet my family is great and they live here amd I cannot afford to move because the pay and market for my job sucks. I hit 46 & my lack of success weighs on me.

    [Reply]

    LA Reply:

    I should clarify “success” as feeling happy in the lgbt community with friends and dates

    [Reply]

    Brian Reply:

    Hi LA, I think one thing we often miss when dealing the the community is its diversity. Often the best approach you can take is finding an LGBTQ group related to an interest you have. These small sub communities are often more open and inviting because you’re starting with common interests. You have a grid head on your shoulders and aren’t willing to compromise on your sanity and values which is great. As for you job, you’re still young enough to look at a shift if that interests you.

    [Reply]

  4. In answer to your questions: I thought my family was not homophobic, but was proved wrong the minute my sister found out about my sexual preference. Right now, they are control freaks.
    I am 59 years old. My lover has no objection to my age. He is about 10 years younger than I am–no objection is one of the reasons I love him so much.

    [Reply]

    Brian Reply:

    At 59 unless you are financially dependent on them I think it is time to cut them loose at least for a while. It is a difficult thing to do but you don’t need that negativity and controlling behaviour impacting you as you start your relationship.

    It still shocks me that we consider ourselves old in our 50’s. I’m 55. My husband is 9 years older than I am and it has juts never been an issue for either of us. It sounds like you’ve found a good man. Make him the priority as much as you can.

    [Reply]

    Brian Reply:

    Your family may come around in time if they realize their strategy isn’t working.

    [Reply]

  5. Hi Jeffery, Your in a tough spot and I know how deeply hurt and abandoned you’re feeling. I think your insights correct. At least for a little while you should take a break. It will give you time to grieve and sort through your emotions and it will give your friend time to get comfortable with the idea that you have those feelings and hopefully realize that he also missed the friendship. I would let him go until you can be in his life without the pain you’re feeling. Stay in touch. Brian

    [Reply]

  6. I’m deeply in love with a close friend and the feelings aren’t mutual. Every FB post I see of him pursuing other men hurts deeply. Furthermore, my disclosing said feelings has wounded our friendship of 8 years. We used to talk all the time; now I don’t know how to talk to him anymore. If I bring the subject of my feelings for him up he ignores it. I don’t know how to move on and Ive been fighting this for 18 months. Would it be in my best interest, and his, if we went our separate ways?

    [Reply]

  7. Hi Asif, Please understand while you are at less risk there is still risk barebacking even if you are top. I do not recommend barebacking to anyone. I do not feel the risks are worth it. Have you discussed with your doctor? Depending on where you are there may be other options like PreP. Brian

    [Reply]

  8. I have two questions:
    1. How safe it is if I top a guy bare back?

    2. How can I increase my timings, I do cum very quick?

    [Reply]

    Brian Reply:

    Hi Asif,

    Thanks for getting in touch.

    1) Topping bareback is extremely high risk if you are not circumcised. If you are it is still risky but not as much so.

    2) You can see if masturbation before you connect sexually helps with the problem. It can. There are also delaying products on the market that might help. You can find them in sex shops and some gay stores. Many men also find that things like Viagra and Cialis prevent them from cuming quickly.

    Hope that helps.

    Brian

    [Reply]

    Asif Reply:

    Hi Brian,

    Thanks for your prompt. As I am circumcised, and as per your advice, if I for for topping bareback, I won’t be at much risk, right?

    [Reply]

  9. Hi Brian

    That would be good, I need to talk to someone. I am in the UK would that be a problem?

    [Reply]

    Brian Reply:

    Hi Steve,

    Not at all. I’m really happy you’re ready to take that first step and get clear on where you want to go. I do most of my work on Skype or over the telephone. We’ll figure out a time that works for both of us. Just go to http://getnakedguru.com/coaching/intro-call/ and scroll down to sign up. Looking forward to connecting.

    Brian

    [Reply]

  10. Hi Brian
    I am 53 married with kids, although I love my family I donot feel I am myself. I am attracted to guys and prefer there company to women,. I have had sexual experiences with guys and want more, it’s just I do not know how to proceed as it would rip my family life apart. I think I have always know in the back of my mind but suppressor it as it was so hard to be openly gay when I was growing up. Do you have any advice on what might be the best way forward

    [Reply]

    Brian Madigan Reply:

    Hi Steve,

    Thanks for getting in touch. You’re in a challenging situation for sure, with lots to think about. It is really important that you move slowly. You need to sort things out for yourself first before your put your family relationships in jeopardy. From my perspective it is crucial for men in your situation to consider the bigger picture of their families before they take any action.

    I’m about your age so I know how hard it was, and can be, for us to be openly gay. I came out really young but it was a seriously challenging time for me.

    I think the most important thing for you to do is to dig in and start looking at what you really want. It could help you to do some day dreaming about what an ideal situation would look like for you. Are you just looking to play around? Are you wanting to be in a relationship with a man? Those kinds of questions would really help you start to get an idea of what your next steps might be.

    You may feel like you need to take urgent action, but its important to slow down and figure out a whole bunch of things for yourself first. Take some deep breaths. Nothing has to change right away. I’m here for you any time if you need me. There’s also a lot of information in the site that will help you start to figure things out.

    Brian

    [Reply]

    Steve Reply:

    Hi Brian

    Thanks for this, I have a lot to think about whatever i do it’s not going to be easy.

    [Reply]

    Brian Reply:

    No problem Steve. I’m happy to help. My introductory coaching call might be a good fit for you. We’d help you sort though it and start to figure out a plan for moving forward that makes sense for you. Brian

  11. um trying to meet someone in my area can tou help me I live in mechnocsburg pa 17055

    [Reply]

    Brian Reply:

    Hi Milton, Sure. Let me reach out to the community on Facebook and see if we can’t find you some local connections.

    [Reply]

    Brian Reply:

    Hi Milton,

    One of my Facebook followers is a few hours away from you. That’s the closest guy so far. If you’re interested in connecting with him send me an email info@getnakedguru.com and I’ll get you guys connected.

    Brian

    [Reply]

  12. What does vanilla meen?
    Dennis

    [Reply]

    Brian Reply:

    Hi Dennis, Vanilla is usually about plain, or standard sex. Nothing kinky or out here. No fetish, leather, etc. Hope that answers your question.

    [Reply]

    Dennis Roxburgh Reply:

    Thanks

    [Reply]

  13. B: You do develop better intuition over time about who will be receptive and not. Bad reactions do happen sometimes. Are you concerned about being outed?

    E: Not really. I feel better already

    B: Good. I think you’re getting things figured out pretty well for yourself.

    Shared with permission.

    [Reply]

  14. Transcript from a Facebook conversation :

    Eric : Bi soldier here. Any guidance you have for me would be greatly appreciated

    Brian : Hi Eric. Good to meet you. I’m happy to help. What are you looking for guidance about? Are you questioning your sexuality, trying to figure out how to come out … ?

    E: I’ve come out to a lot of people but being in the military is different

    [Reply]

    Eric Reply:

    B: Absolutely after all the years of stigma, don’t ask don’t tell, etc. it’s a challenge I’m sure. The thing to remember is that coming out should always be on your own terms, where you feel it’s important for you. Is there a situation that’s making you feel you really need to come out in order to be happier?

    E: Not really. I just really enjoy the bi lifestyle. I definitely orgasm a lot bigger when it’s known that I’m bi or sharing with someone on those terms

    [Reply]

    Eric Reply:

    B: That makes total sense because you’re being true to yourself. The whole of you can be with the person. I’m sure it plays out in lots of ways not just sexually. Being as out as you can in a close relationship will be super important. In the more casual ones maybe it doesn’t matter so much to you. Where would you like to be more out as bi?

    E: That I’m open to guys sexually. I lean more towards women but having others know that I swing both ways regardless of whom I’m with makes it easier

    [Reply]

    Eric Reply:

    B: For sure it would. When do you find it difficult to letting people know that?

    E: Lot of guys are not bi or gay friendly

    B: That is very true. It can be pretty intimidating to let guys know you’re gay or bi. I often assume everyone has me figured out but when for some reason I mention my husband or pride or something like that they can be shocked. Sometime guys think I’m hitting on them just because I was friendly and happen to be gay.

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